Instead of a new picture of the house, I should post a picture of my sleeping husband. In the chair for less than 5 minutes.. and he is OUT. Not that it’s early – it’s 10:45 pm and he has only been home about an hour or so. No one can blame him.
We went out to the house tonight, the girls and I. They got to ride bikes out there and “help” me in the house, while I worked thru the kitchen design (again) trying to decide how I want things. It was much windier out there than I realized and he was on the roof putting tar paper on by himself. At times I could see him fighting the wind to get the paper to lay right, or to move a 2×4 into the right position. It’s crazy. I wished so badly I could get on the roof and help him, but we all know that’s out of the question these days. (Not sure he would let me even if I wasn’t pregnant.)
He’s working so hard, day and night. And he’s pretty stressed out overall. I’m sad I can’t do much to help him. He is still functioning generally, and has a great attitude with the girls. I know he has a lot on his mind and he’s exhausted, so I’m trying to give him lots of space and not harp on him about things. He is quite aware of how fast this baby is coming and how much work there is to be done.
It certainly has its effect on our relationship. Lots going on for both of us, and only so much we really want to talk at length about. I’m sure he’s tired of talking about kitchens. They say that building a house is one of those things that can “make or break” a marriage. We both feel pretty confident that we will get thru this without leaving each other, and it’s easier knowing the hardest part of what we’re doing now should be over by 2011. Pregnancy, building a house, him building a house for my parents (yikes) – the heavy lifting will be over eventually. Obviously we will have another child and a bigger mortgage when it’s over, but by the grace of God we will be able to handle it.
But I pray that when this year is over, WE will still be ok. We will be different people, for sure – but the important stuff will be the same hopefully. Like our commitment. But I’m still a bit scared about what repairs will have to be made to US when the dust settles.
Looking over at him asleep in the chair, I know some things won’t change. We both agree that we would prefer to keep our problems/privileges over most other people’s, any day. And if we keep talking, I think we’ll be ok. Meanwhile, if you see him, tell him you saw a picture and the house looks great. Don’t act like it’s taking forever, but ask him about his kids. We have a lot of fabulous things going for us, and the house is certainly one of them. And for all the things that are kindof getting a backseat right now, the girls get the best of him. I doubt that will change.