Life is messy and chaotic. For everyone.
I didn’t know. So many women appear to have it together. Even today I sometimes get caught up thinking how clearly perfect someone else’s life must be. There she is, with her well-dressed kids and her PTL officer face on, and her high dollar purse. Clearly she is organized and efficient. Obviously she fed her kids before this meeting. No question she got a kiss from her husband before she left. Her bills are paid, her house is clean, and she loves her job. Grumble, grumble. I sit down and feel tiny and flawed.
TIME OUT! A few years ago Jill Savage put it quite nicely. “Don’t compare someone else’s outsides to your insides!” This is Truth, Mama. When we sit down and start being authentic with each other, we find out everyone has their issues. Everyone has a chaotic, mess somewhere in their life they are dealing with (or currently choosing to ignore).
It wasn’t until after a community of women opened up and were authentic with me, that I learned these things. It wasn’t until after I had spent plenty of time feeling alone and like I had to figure out my messes all by myself. It wasn’t until after I was pretty sure I had won the annual title of Stressed-Out-Mom-Failure of the Year, that I began to learn: I am not the only one.
Here’s a tip: It’s ok to need other people and community. We don’t have to do this alone. Scripture highly recommends we avoid going-it solo.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I have a really good friend who, when I am really frustrated with a wrong turn or a plan gone bad – she will remind me, “Hey. It’s the devil.”
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
When the devil is breathing down your neck, telling you you are a failure
or that you will never get out of the hole you’ve dug
or that your marriage is doomed…. You need a friend who can say to you – Hey. That’s the devil talking. Let’s see what Jesus says about that.
Instead of worrying so much about how impossible it is to be vulnerable with others, take a risk and consider all that you can gain from authenticity. If you are feeling strong today, girl, lift someone else up. If you have fallen down, ask for a hand. Two is so much better than one.