Hem and Haw


I used to be really good at multi-tasking. 

Or at least I thought I was. 

Maybe life was simpler, or my brain was just younger.  Maybe I didn’t over-analyze things so much.

Nah – I’m pretty sure I did.  J

Either way, I feel like I’m becoming less capable the older I get.  It has something to do with having 3 kids and wanting to put my marriage first.  So then where does everything else go?  And what about ‘work?’  I’m constantly trying to re-understand my priorities.  The intangible and sacred are great.  But then when push comes to shove, we still have friends who need us and bills to pay. 

It’s hard.

Over a year ago I started selling Pampered Chef and I loved it.  (still do)  I had a great first year and embraced it and I felt like I could really do something with it.  And by “do something with it,” I mean like pay my car payment or take my family on vacation.

But I notice that when I’m throwing myself into that, my writing suffers.  I don’t make time for both.  And when I’m not writing, I tend to not be spending as much time in the Word.  Also bad.  These 2 things are what keep me sane.  These 2 things are what make me tick.

I know that I can crack this code.  I suspect it will be easier when I don’t have a 2 year old screaming my name (but I can’t be sure).  Meanwhile, I’m going to try really hard.  I’m don’t have much discipline and I’m not good at following thru.  But my desire to stay-at-home at least until Eddie goes to school, is bigger than just about anything I’ve ever wanted.  I’m determined to figure this out one way or another.

***
I read over my words.  I roll my eyes.  Once again, I’m missing a bigger picture here.  I’m going to do this?  Whose idea was this to begin with, anyway?  It wasn’t mine.  I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom… until after I’d been staying home for a year at least!  No, this was God’s idea.  He has a plan for us, and once again I’m too wrapped up in my own abilities to lean on him the way He wants me to.  The way I need to.  He has given me plenty of knowledge, resources, encouragement, and support for all of this to work.  If I can focus on Him, and keep my family in the picture too – not make it about me – we should be ok.  We will be ok. 

This is a picture of a binder I made for my customer care calls and my host leads.  Following directions from a Nat’l Conf seminar, I’ve put together a binder for those 2 things.  It’s labeled FUTURE.  Catchy title, huh?  One of my fabulous directors suggested we make a dream board.  Mine is more of a ‘Get Your Butt in Gear,’ board and I’ve put it right on the front of my binder.  So far it’s been effective. 

***
Recognizing you have a problem is the first step, right?  J  So I recognize that when I make my business a priority, other things suffer.  That does not mean that’s how it has to be.  We don’t have to throw out the baby with the bath water.  I can address this issue.  I just need to get better at following a schedule.  And for goodness sakes – as Tami said the other day – Nike has some good advice.  Just do it.  Quit hemming and hawing about it, and just do it.  

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