Finding Solutions that Work for YOU
Somehow my wonderful husband made sure that our closet had shelves and rods before we moved in over a year ago. We were both really excited about having a walk-in closet and had all sorts of creative ideas about how the space should be utilized.
Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat of a slob, and the walk in closet became my dumping ground. And the bedroom. And all our dressers. Ok, I’m a total slob.
I clean them up every once in a while, but for some reason I take no pause before draping my clothes over whatever laundry basket or large piece of furniture happens to be closest. (I draw the line at our bedside tables and my floor mirror, but really that’s about it).
Our closet-of-high-hopes stayed the way it was when we moved in, until the other day. We finally put up shelves for blankets and linens. Praise the Lord! Then the other day Brad added a shoe shelf. Now we are getting fancy!
I put a hamper of my own behind the door and moved some hangers closer to the end of the rod. Maybe, if they are handy, I will hang things, I thought. Maybe, if I see my hamper right there, the clothes will go in it. Maybe.
Well, turns out I might be on to something. I seem to be drawn to putting the clothes INTO the hamper. I find myself reaching for a hanger and PICKING THINGS UP OFF THE FLOOR! It’s a crazy development, but I’m hopeful.
Somehow I might have stumbled upon something THAT WORKS FOR ME. I’ve identified some patterns of behavior and I’m working with those; not so much against them. So often we try to take someone else’s amazing idea, and integrate it into our life; our home; our parenting style. But it doesn’t work. And we are left feeling failure or disappointment or frustration.
The older I get the more I realize I have to figure out what works best FOR ME. It doesn’t mean that my way is the only way. Or that it’s ok to live like a slob. It means that some things work better for others. It means that what looks great on Pinterest, just might not be the ideal solution for my home. And it means focusing on the positives – my skills and abilities – instead of fixating on my weaknesses and what I’m terrible at.
“Know thyself,” an ancient Greek idea that few can argue with, is the take-home idea here. Instead of walking around blindly trying to put on the habits and routines of others, we have to seek to understand what makes us tick; what makes sense for where we are at, today. It’s hard to sort through the barrage of suggestions, solutions, and idea galleries that inundate our lives. But eventually it works so much better to walk away from the screen, think about our individual situation, and make a decision based on the real people involved.
You aren’t a failure because her way sounds impossible to you. I’m not a lost cause because my dishes aren’t all washed before I fall asleep on the couch.
Instead I’ll consider the needs of my family and + add that to my proven strengths, to find = the solution that will work best for us right now.
Today I won’t beat myself up for the things I’m not good at. I won’t feel like a loser for the laundry that isn’t put away or my desk piled up with papers. I’m going to enjoy the little triumphs and celebrate learning something new about myself.
And maybe I’ll clean my room while I’m at it. 😉