Feeling Buried, But Then This..

I’m supposed to be writing! I’m supposed to be preparing for this retreat I’m doing this weekend! But right now my anger and frustration is taking over. Big time.

Instead I’ve been tearing the house apart for the last hour and a half looking for this stupid envelope that I swear was just here in this pile and now I cannot find it ANYWHERE.

pile of white paper

Yep, looked there.

pile

And there.

Definitely looked there.

Definitely looked there.

bag of trash

Here’s the bag of papers and misc that I deemed garbage as I was going through everything.

Oh my goodness I’m so frustrated. I was keeping tabs on that envelope for SOO long. What the heck?! And there’s lots of nasty things streaming through my brain as I sort and open and page through file folders and thread my way through piles and the thing is I HAD been so proud of how I’ve been keeping track of things and now this.

 I want to scream!!!!!!

And cry.

I did some of that.

Finally I collapse into the chair in the office and pray some more, except this time it’s Lord, how the heck am I supposed to write now? And I want to place blame and be mad and point fingers and say the f-word like 12 times, but I know that isn’t going to do any good.

 “Give thanks in all circumstances…” (Thessalonians 5:18)

The Holy Spirit sends me that trusty verse and in desperation I start praying. Since I’m looking at the ceiling I begin there…

“Thank you for this house, Lord, and thank you for the man who built it. Thank you for that awesome dream about us last night (giggle) and thank you for deep breaths and goodness sakes I have it good don’t I? Because I just watched the news this morning and there are so many hurting people and people who are literally being pelted with stones and words and stoned with questions about so much violence. And then I watched that video of a baby being rescued from the rubble in Nepal and I sobbed and sobbed and wrapped my arms around my baby boy and felt nothing but thanksgiving that my baby isn’t in a pile of rocks.”

 

Perspective. That’s what that verse gives us.

Perspective. God knows that when we set aside our anger and our frustration and our impatience and start giving thanks, it will give us perspective.

 

Thank you, God.

 

1 Response

  1. Patty Bleich says:

    I too was upset at myself today. Not enough groceries to feed the men the field. Then I stepped back and realized that they enjoy just sitting and having a meal, big or small, simple or full meal deal, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they don’t have to worry about it, Praying showed me the bigger picture. I shouldn’t worry either.

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